Reframing Success
By Anonymous / Spring 2023
Born out of the dreams of its founding fathers, the United States has long been the embodiment of hope and opportunity, captured in the narrative of the American Dream. This concept, first popularized by James Truslow Adams in 1931, advertises a land where life is better, richer, and fuller for everyone, with opportunities for each according to their abilities or achievements. It's a promise that hard work, courage, and determination will yield success and prosperity, a theme deeply ingrained in the American culture. The American Dream appeared as an alluring vision of hope, especially for my father.
My father's journey began in poverty. At the young age of 14, he immigrated from South Korea to Gilbert, Arizona, barely knowing any English. His family of five at the time had nothing but each other, cramming into a single room and surviving on cup noodles to sustain themselves. Birthdays were marked by rare trips to McDonald's, a modest treat in the midst of challenging circumstances. My grandmothers would cry often as she struggled to provide for her own children, her heart burdened by the weight of poverty. Her sorrow wasn't just about the struggle to provide basic necessities; it was about the dream she held for her children, the American Dream.
Despite these poor living conditions, my father would achieve that American Dream no matter what cost. He immersed himself in his studies and devoted himself to achieving that promise for a better life. Through the harsh living conditions and the daily struggles, he would end up becoming a first-generation college student. Determined to serve his country and build a brighter future, he also joined the Reserved Officer Training Corps and later served in the Marines upon graduating.
Following his military service my father would end up joining the corporate world. He worked tirelessly for several years, gaining experience and honing his skills, even going back to school to acquire a master’s degree. Along the way, he made sacrifices, missing out on family moments and personal pursuits. Yet, he believed that his hard work would eventually pay off.
And it did. In the mid-2000s, life seemed to align perfectly for my father. He sold his successful business, and with his newfound wealth, he planned to retire early and live a life of comfort. He invested in stocks and real estate, building a solid financial foundation. He purchased his dream car, learned to fly his own plane, and acquired a spacious home where he would raise me and my brother. By all accounts, he had achieved the American Dream.
But fate can be merciless, and the seemingly endless days of prosperity would slowly diminish. The turning point was the 2008 global financial crisis, the worst recession in modern history, which sent shockwaves through the lives of millions of people.
To really understand the financial crash of 2008, we need to look at the causes behind it. The main issue was that banks were giving out risky home loans. These were loans given to people who might not be able to pay them back, known as subprime mortgages. The banks did this because they believed house prices would always go up. These risky loans were then packed together into something called Mortgage-Backed Securities (MBS). Investors bought these, not knowing how risky the original loans were. When house prices started to fall, many people couldn't pay back their loans, and the value of these Mortgage-Backed Securities dropped dramatically. Banks and investors who owned these faced huge losses, which caused a domino effect of financial trouble across the world.
This wasn't a case of individuals making mistakes. This was a problem with the system itself. It was the flawed design of this system that led to the hardships faced by millions, including my father. The impact of this global catastrophe hit close to home, completely upending my father's life and our family's financial stability. Those assets that my father had bought, were slowly being sold away one by one. No more dream car, no more plane, and soon enough no more home.
I vividly remember that particular evening, sitting at the dinner table, a witness to the pain and desperation etched across my father's face. His words cut through the air like a bitter wind. "There are bad people coming to take the house; they're called the bank. Never trust the bank." I listened, my naive mind unable to fully grasp what was going on. I struggled to understand the concept of losing our home to something that wasn’t a person.
My old house held a special place in my heart. It was a sanctuary of cherished memories. I can still vividly recall those early morning bike rides, the wind on my face as I pedaled through the neighborhood before school started. The swing in our backyard, firmly tied to a majestic tree, provided endless hours of joy. Summertime was characterized by endless games and explorations with the other neighborhood kids. And who could forget the jacuzzi and pool in the backyard, where my brother and I would splash around, creating waves of sheer happiness. It wasn’t just the house that was going away, it was the connection that I had to the neighborhood, the swing, the friends, and the pool that was dissolving.
Selling the house was a heavy price we had to pay, and it seemed particularly ironic considering the circumstances. Working- and middle-class families often bear the brunt of financial crises. They work tirelessly, pay their taxes faithfully, and expect that their hard-earned dollars will be used to support them in times of need. However, when crises strike, their tax dollars are funneled into bailing out large corporations, rather than being directed back to the very families who require assistance. Large financial institutions like AIG, Bank of America, and Citigroup were bailed out by government organizations for billions and billions of dollars, but where was the bailout for the people? Where was the bailout for my father, who had signed papers and swore an oath to give his life up to protect this country? There was no bailout. There was no safety net to catch my father while he was falling through the cracks. The American Dream had failed him.
If the institutions weren’t to take responsibility, then who does take on the burden for causing this global crisis. Well, there are many faces to blame when it comes to the 2008 recession but one of the more notorious figures is Richard Fuld, ex-CEO of Lehman Brothers. Lehman Brothers was one of the biggest investment banks at the time and their filing for bankruptcy on September 15, 2008 is often regarded as the initial trigger that led to the major global crisis. However, despite having a stake in this global crisis, as of 2023, Fuld sits on an estimated net worth of $250 million dollars. Similarly, Angelo Mozilo, Former CEO of Countrywide Financial, one of the largest mortgage lenders during the subprime lending boom, faced allegations of predatory lending practices, also affecting the financial crisis. As of 2023, Angelo has an estimated net worth of $600 million. Both of these men were on the Time’s list of 25 People to Blame for the Financial Crisis, yet sit on boatloads of money, without facing any sort of criminal justice, while U.S. Citizens were essentially left behind to pull themselves up by their own bootstraps.
However, one may reduce this corruption as an isolated event, comprised of a number of unfortunate circumstances. But, you don’t have to look very far to see that this level of corruption still runs rampant today, in fact in many ways it has gotten even worse. It is disheartening to witness how dehumanized we are in the eyes of those in power, who often view us as mere sheep to be herded in an open field. This sentiment is echoed in Noam Chomsky's powerful analysis of the American Dream in his work "Requiem for the American Dream."
Chomsky describes talks about our current society, where individuals are
“more likely to spend their time walking in a shopping mall rather than visiting a library or engaging in other meaningful activities. The underlying objective is to exert control over everyone and transform society into a perfect system. This system revolves around a dyad—a pair consisting of the individual and their television set, or nowadays, the individual and the internet. It presents a predetermined notion of what constitutes a proper life, dictating what material objects one should possess. It purports a false reality that equates success with materialism. This, sadly, becomes the measure of a decent life in such a system.
In the realm of advertising, we witness a departure from the concept of markets being based on informed consumers making rational choices. Instead, companies employ tactics to create uninformed consumers who are prone to making irrational decisions. A television advertisement for a car, for example, does not simply provide information about the vehicle itself. Rather, it often features a football hero, an actress, or showcases the car performing extraordinary feats, such as conquering a treacherous mountain. The primary aim is to manipulate individuals and steer them towards making choices that may not align with their genuine needs or desires. This deceptive nature of advertising serves to exploit and influence consumer behavior, by playing off the idea of the American Dream meant to coerce individuals into remaining consumers. It is no wonder that three richest Americans hold more wealth than the bottom 50% of the country” (Kirsch).
As someone pursuing a career in marketing, I am aware of the invasive tactics employed by companies to shape consumer behavior. Have you ever experienced a situation where, after discussing a particular topic, you suddenly find yourself bombarded with advertisements related to that subject? This is a direct result of companies exploiting personal data to target individuals and nudge them towards purchasing their products. In 2022, researchers found that Amazon had been using Alexa data for targeted advertising (Tuohy). This represents a significant breach of privacy and democracy, where companies can abuse access to the most intimate location in our lives: our own homes. Humans are no longer viewed as people, but rather statistics and numbers to fuel the growth and pockets of those who hoard the wealth.
This consumer manipulation and data exploitation connects to the broader critique of how the American Dream has been distorted. It reflects how the desire for material wealth has been amplified and exploited by corporations to manipulate consumer behavior.
The American Dream, in its distorted, materialistic form, can have far-reaching and potentially self-destructive consequences. This relentless pursuit of material wealth often overshadows the initial ideals of freedom, equality, and the pursuit of happiness that the American Dream was founded on. The rampant consumerism contributes to an unending cycle where satisfaction is perpetually deferred to the next purchase, the next acquisition.
As this cycle continues, it's not just the financial strain that’s an issue, but also the impact on our mental health, relationships, and overall well-being. The constant desire for more can lead to constant dissatisfaction and stress no matter how much we accumulate. In the worst scenarios, this chase can lead to a workaholic lifestyle, neglected relationships, and even a loss of self, as our worth becomes tied to material possessions rather than our values, achievements, and connections with others. When were always fixated on what we should be doing, and drafting the next 5 things we need to take care of, we forget what truly matters. We tend to tunnel-vision on the wrong things.
In an attempt to salvage his perceived success, my father ventured into two new businesses. However, his relentless pursuit of material gain came at a steep price. He neglected his health eating mostly junk food and neglecting exercise, pushing himself to the brink of prediabetes. Sleep deprivation became the norm, with only 4-6 hours of rest each night, evidenced by his heavy eye bags he wore and the countless energy drinks he stored around in his fridge. His disregard for his sleep caught up to him when he got into a life-threatening car accident that caused irreparable damage to his hip and brain. Though he survived and recovered, this incident serves as a testament to how little value he placed on his own health and safety in his thirst for success.
But his health and well-being weren’t the only things that were compromised. His relationships within our family would also deteriorate. I would find myself waking up in the middle of the night to my parents yelling and crying over each other. As a kid, it felt like my world was splitting in two. I saw the connection between my parents wither away an As days turned into weeks, the storm intensified, consuming every aspect of our lives. Caught in the crossfire, I found solace in the deafening silence of my bedroom, desperately clinging to the last fragments of normalcy. Eventually, my mom, exhausted and stressed from constant arguments, decided to take us my brother and I to move away to Los Angeles. As a result, I rarely got to see my father. Being separated already caused a disconnect between me and my father but also being forced to dedicate the majority of his time towards his new businesses, meant sacrificing time to watch my brother and I grow up. I would only see my father for a weekend every month and even though my father was physically present, the connection I once felt was diminishing. Over time, my relationship with him grew distant, yet another price he would end up paying.
The American Dream had slipped out of his hands and in that process of re-chasing it, he had forgotten what really mattered. Although he has since semi-retired and is actively working to restore some of the values he lost along the way, the long-lasting consequences of poor health have irreversibly impacted his body. Furthermore, the dynamics within our family have been forever altered and will never truly return to what they were before. Often, in that chase for illusory success, we neglect our priorities and stray away from our true values. Pursuits like work or study take priority overshadowing the need to connect with loved ones, develop personal interests, or tend to our physical well-being.
It doesn’t help that in our modern world, we frequently find ourselves stuck in the cycle of self-blame. This is largely due to the narrative of competitive individualism that’s packaged and sold with The American Dream. We are often made to feel inadequate if we do not reach the superficial markers of success, under the presumption that we are simply not working hard enough compared to others. This sentiment is only amplified by social media, where we are relentlessly exposed to the 'highlight reels' of our peers, fostering an environment filled with self-doubt and comparison. I know my father feels this way, at fault for his shortcomings of success. But reality is that everyone is dealt a hand in life and sometimes that hand doesn’t always work in our favor, whether we like it or not.
As a student, this notion of competitive individualism is all too familiar. The academic landscape consistently pushes us to conform to the standards set by those around us. Any perceived shortcoming—whether it's a grade that didn't meet our expectations or a course that we didn't excel in—promptly triggers self-blame. Even in situations where examinations or projects are unfairly structured or assessed, we instinctively blame ourselves with thoughts like, “If only I had studied harder," or "I don't belong here." This self-imposed burden progressively weighs heavier as insecurities amass. It is perhaps unsurprising that the Healthy Minds survey for the 2021-2022 academic year reported alarming statistics: 44% of students exhibited symptoms of depression, 37% reported anxiety disorders, and a concerning 15% admitted to seriously considering suicide in the past year.
However, we must acknowledge that not everything is within our control. Some students face challenges that go beyond the academic scope—ranging from neurological or genetic disorders, learning disabilities, to financial or emotional difficulties outside of school. The rhetoric that leads us to blame ourselves for all of our shortcomings can be both harmful and dangerous. It lures us into a false belief that we alone are responsible for every aspect of our lives, disregarding the external factors that could significantly affect our situations. This not only affects our ability to question unfair authority but also fuels a self-destructive mindset.
In a society that significantly favors the top 1%, offering limited aid to the middle and working classes, it's alarmingly easy for individuals to fall through the cracks. My father's case serves as an example that personal failures are not always self-inflicted. Systems often treat their citizens as expendable, casually disregarding their well-being and diminishing their contributions. This fosters an environment where competition, envy, and self-loathing consume people.
So, what's the way forward? Where’s the silver lining? How can we reshape the American Dream to align with healthier and more sustainable values? How can we navigate the balance between personal ambition and materialistic obsession? How can that pursuit for success, not be so self-sabotaging and X. These are open-ended questions that invite introspection and dialogue.
Perhaps it involves a societal shift to redefine success, moving away from purely material measures to a more holistic view that includes personal development, well-being, and meaningful relationships. Perhaps it might necessitate a comprehensive review of our corporate practices, implementing better regulations to combat the exploitation of power and to safeguard the rights and freedoms of consumers. Or, perhaps it might be as personal as individuals adopting mindfulness and stepping away from the rat race of ruthless individualism.
Through this lens, the American Dream morphs from a deceptive illusion of success into a hopeful aspiration for a better future. Instead of idolizing materialism and superficial accomplishments and blaming ourselves after falling short, we can redefine the American Dream as the pursuit of genuine happiness, healthy relationships, and personal fulfillment.
Works Cited
Kirsch, Noah. “The 3 Richest Americans Hold More Wealth than Bottom 50% of the Country, Study Finds.” Forbes, 12 Oct. 2022.
“Requiem for the American Dream.” YouTube, 15 Nov. 2019.
Tuohy, Jennifer Pattison. “Researchers Find Amazon Uses Alexa Voice Data to Target You with ADS.” The Verge, 28 Apr. 2022.
“Student Mental Health Worsens, but More Are Seeking Help.” Student Mental Health Worsens, but More Are Seeking Help | National Center on Safe Supportive Learning Environments (NCSSLE), 17 Mar. 2023.
“25 People to Blame for the Financial Crisis.” Time. Accessed 19 June 2023.